Lady officers flooded with ‘I Love You’ messages:Social media–active bureaucrat troubled by crude comments, tells Bhaskar she now ignores them

“Will you marry me? I love you… Please call me”, these are not lines from a movie, but real messages landing daily in the inboxes of women holding responsible public positions. From Gwalior-based sub-inspector Shailja Singh to Sidhi Deputy Collector Priyal Yadav, women officers active on social media say they are regularly targeted with marriage proposals, “I love you” messages and intrusive personal questions. The issue is not limited to government officials. Social media influencers and women with a public identity increasingly face digital harassment—raising concerns about personal safety, dignity and professional boundaries. SI Shailja Singh: ‘Most messages come from fake profiles’ Shailja Singh, 29, is posted as a sub-inspector at Gwalior’s University police station. Alongside her official duties, she is active on social media, where she shares photos and videos related to her life and work. She says social media helped her build a distinct identity—but at a cost. “In the beginning, there were just a few messages, which I ignored,” she said. “Gradually, the number increased. Now I receive dozens of messages every day, many directly proposing marriage.” In one recent incident, a man repeatedly messaged her, asking about her caste and writing, “If you are a Rajput, which Rajput are you?” According to Shailja, most such messages come from fake profiles. “People know my designation and profession, so they hide their identities to send such messages,” she said. Eventually, she made a public post urging restraint.
“I respect emotions, but please don’t indulge in such behaviour. My marriage will take place according to my parents’ wishes and Hindu traditions,” she wrote. Deputy Collector Priyal Yadav: ‘Every second message was a proposal’ Priyal Yadav, currently posted as Deputy Collector in Sidhi district, shared a similar experience. Once very active on social media, she has now limited her online presence. “When I was selected through MPPSC, my accounts were flooded with congratulatory messages—and marriage proposals,” she said. “Almost every second message was about marriage.” Although she is now married and no longer receives proposals, the intrusion has not stopped.
“People now ask personal questions—who is your husband, what does he do, where do you live, where does your family stay?” Trolling over work and integrity Priyal also faces trolling related to her official work. When she posts about her duties, some users comment sarcastically, questioning her integrity. “They write things like, ‘Now that you’re a big officer, you must be corrupt,’” she said. Such negativity and growing interference in her private life prompted her to stop sharing personal details online.
“For an administrative officer, this is also a matter of safety and protocol,” she said. “There is no real way to deal with trolls—ignoring them is the best option.” Influencer Harsha Richhariya: ‘Fame brings trolling’ Social media influencer, host and social worker Harsha Richhariya rose to fame during the 2025 Prayagraj Mahakumbh, when her photos and videos portraying her as a “beautiful sadhvi” went viral. Overnight, she gained millions of followers. Harsha, who mostly shares religious and spiritual content, said popularity comes with a dark side. “When trolling started, I used to cry a lot,” she said. “I wondered why people were targeting me when my content was decent and respectful.” She said her mother helped her understand that ignoring negativity was the only way forward. During the Kumbh, she was trolled for wearing artificial dreadlocks. Later, when she removed them, people accused her of “acting” and claimed she would now become a model instead of a sadhvi. Along with trolling, she too received marriage proposals and “I love you” messages. Expert view: Crisis of identity and need for validation Psychiatrist Dr Satyakant Trivedi explained the psychology behind such online behaviour, identifying two major reasons: Identity crisis: Such individuals often grow up with insecurity and a lack of self-identity,” he said. “When they message a popular influencer or officer, they feel connected to someone important and try to derive their identity through that person. Need for attention and validation Sending messages and comments becomes a way to seek attention. “If an influencer or officer responds even once, it acts as a boost,” Dr Trivedi explained. “This can gradually turn into attachment and, in some cases, obsession.” A growing digital concern From police officers and administrative officials to influencers, women in the public eye are increasingly facing digital harassment masked as admiration. While many choose to ignore such behaviour, the issue raises serious questions about online boundaries, safety and respect for women in positions of responsibility. As social media continues to blur personal and professional lines, the experiences of these women highlight the urgent need for greater digital awareness—and accountability.